Today I Cried

Today I watched.  Today I cried.

What did I watch, a video chat on Tudiabetes with mom and author Moira McCarthy.  

Why did I cry?  It has been about a year and 6 months since Brandon was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, and it has been hard.  Hard to watch my kind hearted son, be angry, watch him deal with something that changed his entire life.  Hard to manage and understand why his numbers are, well are what they are.  Hard to not nag and pester my son because I am fearful.  Hard to do the god damn math that changes every three months.  Hard to wake up at 2:00am to take his blood sugars.  Hard to make sure that I am not forgetting my daughter.  Hard to do this all by myself. 

I actually did not cry about any of these things.  I cried because she admitted that it was hard, to watch her daughter lie to her about checking her blood sugars and taking her insulin.  That is was hard to find the right words when all she wanted to do is scream.  That it was hard to deal with the shame that comes with all of this.

I cried because I was relieved.  I cried because I am not the only one that has these feelings.  I cried because she said that as a parent you need that break to reset.  I cried because she understood.

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2 thoughts on “Today I Cried

  1. Pingback: Rasing Teens with Diabetes: A Survival Guide for Parents – A Book Review | Smells Like Band-Aids

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